Use Your Clutter To Identify And Overcome Blocks In Your Life With Star Hansen
Clutter is actually an out-picturing of our inner storms. We can actually use looking at our clutter and exploring our clutter to help us overcome blocks in our lives because every single room in your house represents an area of your life. Chaos is part of this beautiful human world. All the ways we beat ourselves up and the truth is that we all deserve to have someone in the world know our highest self. Ideally, we become that person. But what we want to do is allow the clutter to become the invitation.
Star Hansen, our guest for today's podcast, she's a certified professional organizer known as the spiritual organizer or the clutter whisper. She will talk about how she is capable of helping people transform their homes by transforming their inner chaos first.
Don't leave without downloading your Intuition Meditation and following Star's links below
Listen to the podcast here!
Please follow her here and check out her amazing offer:
Here are so follow-up questions I got to ask!
How/why did you start your business?
I started my business because I wanted to make a healing impact on people's lives and remind them of their wholeness.
What makes your business unique?
What impact do you want to have in the world or change you want to see or make happen?
I want to help people love and accept themselves fully.
I love my business and how I get to see people learn to trust themselves and love themselves more each day.
Did You Experience Failures? If So, What Did You Learn From Them
Constantly. You can't learn without challenges. I learned that I am capable of so much and we are all on an endless path of growth and healing.
How Did You Handle Adversity And Doubt?
I start with identifying and accepting where I am, then moving towards what I want to create...even as I feel the challenges.
Do You Plan On Growing Your Business? How?
Yes, I'm growing my Organizing Membership www.turnchaos2calm.com and sharing my spiritual organizing practices with the world.
Do you think self-love and trust are important in running a successful business? Why?
Always. Whatever we
What advice would you give someone interested in starting their own business?
Do something that brings you joy and fulfillment. All the material gain in the world can't satisfy as much as purpose and calling will.
If you would rather read the interview, feel free to check out the full transcription below!
Trusting your intuition will lead you to create a passionate and joy-filled life. Are you ready to get turned on to a new way of thinking? Are you ready to meet people who have conversations that speak to the things that truly light you up? What if you had access to a podcast that featured women, just like you, who shared stories that empowered you to let go of a lifetime,
to other's expectations, and to start living in the now with passion and joy, I'm Jacqueline Rodriguez, founder of your intuitive light coaching owner of enlightened styles, holistic salon, and your host of the intuitive light podcast for the enlightened entrepreneur. My goal is to help women recognize how tightly they are tied to negative thoughts and other people's expectations so that they can fully embrace and become untethered CEO.
They've always wanted to be. You're about to meet some amazing women who will inspire you to untether yourself from any fears, the negativity that you carry and become the untethered CEO of your life. This podcast is for you woman champion, warrior, entrepreneur, mother, phenomenal. Hello, and welcome back to the intuitive light podcast and show. I am your host,
Jacqueline Rodriguez. And I have this amazing guest on here today with me star Hanson, and she is known as the spiritual organizer stars. A multilayered approach is one of that mind, body, spirit, and space. And she has got a really interesting way of bringing these things to you and really starting to align you and get you well. W the word-aligned is really what comes to mind for me.
So without further ado, let's bring a star on and get to know her. Hi Jacquelyn. Thanks so much. Thank you so much for being here. I am super excited to hear more about you, and I know that our viewers are going to just love what you do. So tell me who you are and what you do. Excellent. Thank you so much.
My name is Star Hanson. I'm a certified professional organizer, but I am known as the spiritual organizer or the clutter whisper. And what I do is I go into people's homes and I help them understand what their clutter is trying to tell them because clutter is not a horrible nuisance. We think it is. Clutter is actually an out-picturing of our inner storms.
So what we can do is we can actually use looking at our clutter and exploring our clutter to help us overcome blocks in our lives, because every single room in your house represents an area of your life. And if you can figure out why you have your clutter, where you have it, and how it's serving You, you can get that need met elsewhere and not need all that clutter to try to help you achieve the life of your,
of your dreams, because really we don't need the clutter to do that for us, but it's a beautiful way to evolve and grow by using that clutter to overcome our hurdles. This is so amazingly interesting to me because it's one that I've never heard of before. I mean, we hear function way. We hear, you know, decluttering shows and even the Marie Kondo way of blessing and loving,
but never combining it with the actual hurdles that you have in your life and what clutter does for that. And I, I love organizing, well, let me preface this. I'm not sure if I love organizing as much as I love decorating and spaces and creating spaces that make me feel happy and good. So that has always been really, really important to me.
So how do you go about that? And what does that all entail? Yeah, it's such a fun journey for me. So when I walk into someone's house, it's like I have x-ray vision. I can tell with a single glance, the state of someone's life. So I can tell who's madly in love. Who's in financial chaos who wants to start a side hustle just by where their clutter is and what their clutter is.
And, and it's been a really interesting thing, right? Like I know that I'm like, no, one's going to invite me over for dinner now. Wow. Know the truth. I have insight about these things in our lives. And sometimes we don't and it can be really scary. Like people get nervous before I show up. Even my friends,
when I go to their houses, they're going to stress clean for like two days before I walk in. Cause they're like, what's she going to see? And yet the truth is that when I walk into someone's house, I see the essence of who they are like the beautiful beam. You are your genius, your abilities to me, all shine right through your house.
And so when I can see who you are, as well as where you've been and where you want to go, it's really fun to kind of construct and curate, you know, like you talking about your house, it's so fun to curate an experience through our home. And that's really the process of organizing. Organizing is not just putting stuff in boxes with labels and making it pretty.
You've also got the purchasing process. You've got the beautification, the decorating, you've got the maintenance. There's a lot of steps when it comes to getting organized besides just boxing land, you know? And so what I, what I love about the practice of organizing is that it shifts it from being a task. We have to check off our list and becomes a spiritual practice where we really get to deepen our appreciation and knowledge of ourselves.
Truly learn to love ourselves in spite of any kind of challenges and step into the life we want to live. And, and through the practice of organizing, we also get to create a living vision board in our space. We get to use our home to be this beautiful springboard into the life that we want to create and live. I really have like, full-on chills.
It really, really cause you to know, all of those things that we go through and we have these vision boards and we have this idea of organization and what it's supposed to look like and keep up with it. There are so many layers. Yeah. And you know, the beauty of clutter is clutter is so clutter is chaos. Chaos is creation energy. We are all born from chaos.
And, and it's funny how we've kind of demonize that in our society like, Oh, it's clutter. If you were to look at my calendar like I have a year-long wall calendar up and I love that wall calendar and to anyone else that might look like crazy chaos. And to me, I see my creative adventures coming to fruition. I see my self care and tangible practicality.
I have a version of me on the wall that I can have a conversation with. There's nothing crazy or chaotic about that. That's magical, like to be able to use the chaos in our lives as a creation space, instead of another way to punish ourselves another way to prove what's wrong with us. Like, there's nothing wrong with you. This is a lesson I'm still learning with myself.
There's nothing wrong with us, except that we sometimes think that there's something wrong with us. And so what if, instead of being judgmental, what if we chose curiosity? What if we just said, what does that clutter mean? Or what might this be saying to me? Or what might this be telling me? I want to invite into my life and make it an exciting adventure instead of,
you know, a punishment. Oh yeah. Oh, so much to that. I really see how important what you do is especially like just a few things that popped up for me is even like in the space that we're in, you know, decluttering, it was a very negative thing at one. Like I, and I still have troubles with, you know,
getting organized. I can do, I can purge. I can do a bunch of things like that, but it's the keeping the organization and not feeling like it's that chore. I never thought about it being aligned with my spirituality other than it making it pretty so that I like being in my space. Yeah. It's so a couple of things. One is,
okay, so I hate doing dishes. I'm not a fan of like, it's just the bane of my business is dishes, right? Like I'm like, Oh gosh. And it's mostly because I've heard it alone in my life. And I mostly hand wash because I use the same as like everyone, I use the same things over and over again. So dishes are not my,
my joy. And I remember stumbling upon techno on one of his books. He has like over a hundred books and he's a Buddhist monk. If you don't know him, he's, he's brilliant. Just so heart-centered. And he talked about washing dishes being like bathing, a baby Buddha, and how you would do that with love and kindness and washing the dishes can be a spiritual practice.
And I, that blew my mind cause I was very anti, very anti the dishes. And so, you know, it just, it kind of opened my mind. And I do think organizing is a similar thing. We all have to do it look so even if you get everything organized today, guess what you have to do for the rest of your life,
maintain it. No One love is going to pass you away and they're going to leave you everything. And you're going to have to organize that stuff and you're going to have to integrate it into your life, or you're going to have to choose what to get rid of, or you're going to move and downsize at some point, or you're going to upsize or,
you know, whatever it is, your kids are going to leave and they're going to leave all their stuff for you to deal with. And so there's no version of life that doesn't include some management of stuff, unless you go full minimalist. And to say, I'm emotionally not taking care of anyone else's stuff, which might exist, but they're probably not going to be interested in this conversation,
but 99% of us, this is the thing we're going to have to do over and over again. And so why not choose to allow this to be a practice that helps us grow and evolve and expand who we are and what we're capable of? Hmm. The possibilities that come along with that versus the other side of the coin of having to do it,
because it's another chore. I mean, we just have to, And how stuck we feel in that space. Like, so if we think about it, one of the things that stops people in the most is that overwhelm at the beginning, right? They're like, like a little bit kind of like funky to get started. And that often happens because we look at the clutter and we personalize the clutter for what we think is wrong with us.
So we look and we think what's wrong with me that it's still here. No one else has cluttered this bad. I shouldn't have to handle this again. How did I do this to myself? I'm the only one we have all these voices in our head. And then by the time we go to get the job done, we're exhausted because we've just beat ourselves up 10 rounds.
And it's like, well, now I don't want to do it. I'm going to Netflix and chill. And the difference of there's something wrong with me, I shouldn't have cluttering chaos versus cluttering. Chaos is part of this beautiful human world. And I'm going to use it as a growth journey and I'm going to use it. You know, when I work with you,
I fall in love with you. Like I do. I see who you are and how you think and what your life has been in your adventures. And it's beautiful proof of abundance and beautiful proof of life. And when we can see it through that lens, it becomes curation instead of punishment and chore. And like, and we can do that with ourselves too.
So, so beautiful. So how do you go through the process? Cause of course, you know, it sounds amazing, but like you said, you get stuck, right. And where do we get started? How do we get over that overwhelmed feeling when it comes to our spaces? Yeah. This is the beauty of organizing being paired with, you know,
what we might call life coaching or spiritual advising. And I know that, you know, this with your practice too, is if I just came to your house, instead of we're going to do therapy for eight hours a day, you'd be like young. No. Versus if I come to your house and say, we're going to organize for eight hours a day,
you might think like, okay, that sounds like a lot. But the truth is by balancing both in the process, by making space for the physical process of organizing and blending that with spiritual evolution, what ends up happening is you have this huge, emotional, spiritual insight, and you get to see it being ground into action, through the process of organizing and creating systems.
And then you keep going on the organizing path and then you find something else that invites you to this next level of adventure. And then you blend it back in. And so it becomes this powerful process. And it's why sometimes we look at, you know, some of the other practices that are out there, the Marie Kondo's or some of those other systems,
and they're brilliant and beautiful. And yet they don't necessarily help you when you hit your knees. And you know what happens if it doesn't spark joy, but you can't get rid of it. That's common for a lot of people and its human emotions are so much more complicated than just, it feels good or bad. Like it's great when we can do that.
But the truth is that what you need is something that's going to take your hand when you hit that bottom when you find something that makes you feel stuck. And so what I, what I do when I'm working with people, it's a few different things. So one is you have to have a really good base for organizing strategy with me. I have a program that I called the 10 steps to finally get and stay organized.
And it's 10 steps that guide you through everything you need to do from start to finish, to organize a space, whether it's a tiny drawer or an entire garage. And the beauty of that is it acts as a blueprint to walk you through, but you can use any philosophy, right? It's you just need to have a strong, grounded philosophy. That's comprehensive.
Then when you come across these, you know, these deeper meanings are these, these tricky spot, these kind of sticky spots within our organizing process, you have to have a practice for moving through. And so for me, what I do is I actually am launching a program next month called the meaning of stuff. And it's all about that. It's about what every single room in your house means.
It's about how you manage your own personal lack of confronting or your own personal challenges. Like how do you feel like you have the tools to sit with your most difficult feelings? Not all of us were taught how to be emotionally aware. And so if you don't know how to do that, I'm asking you something insane. So you need to make sure you have the tools to sit with that stuff and then start to address what do the objects mean?
What does the room mean? A great example. I had a client who in her bedroom had piles and piles in her bedroom. And as we started to deconstruct it, they were almost all towels, linens, bathrobes, mostly stuff that came from the bathroom and the bathroom is the room where we go to release, right? It's, it's a big water room.
So we have a lot of a release of emotion. Like totally, totally. It's like a shower. That's a whole place that we get comforted. Right? You release the, either through the bathroom or washing your face or taking a shower. And then what happens after that? You're cuddled and swamped with this beautiful cozy towel. And she was like almost collecting those towels and cozy things in her bedroom.
And so as we dug into what that was about, the, one of the things that the bedroom is, is it's our, it's our safe space. It's our personal Haven. And so, you know, I asked her, do you feel safe in your home? And she didn't. She was in a very challenging marriage and she couldn't leave it.
And, you know, and I wish that I could say that her happiness ever after was it that she was able to leave and she found her strength, but that's not everybody's story. And it has to be okay too, to be able to live in an uncertain situation because that's just life right now. And so what we ended up doing was addressing the fact that her clutter was basically trying to keep her comforted and nurtured in a very toxic situation.
And so we talked about, well, what else could it look like? Because the comfort was growing to a point where it was becoming uncomfortable. It was actually like hold back on her and feeling daunting. And so what she ended up deciding to do is to get a dog. And she is so happy with her dog. She got her dog,
she has her comfort. She has someone to run interference from this toxic relationship. She has someone who's happy to see her every day. She has a loving presence in her life and she doesn't need the clutter anymore. And the clutter just drifted back to its home again, because she didn't need it in the same way. Wow. That's never anything you've heard of with the clutter and going deeper like that.
I know that people have meanings and are tied to specific things and that it does mean more, but I haven't ever seen it put together like that or, or just so eloquent with elec. I can't say that today either. I liked the juxtaposition. It was perfect. Beautiful, beautiful. So putting it together that way, and it really is so profound to see the change that something like that can have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, you know, the truth is that I get to be a reminder of your light. My job is not to point out what's wrong. My job is to point out what's right. To help you see the skills and genius you already have inside and help that come to the surface. Like I always say, I'm like a lighthouse.
Who's like, come this way. Just like, I see your highest self come on with me. And that, you know, maybe I'll be so lucky to have anyone see that in us because I know, you know, even, you know, even this morning I was going through my day and I had made a couple of decisions, or I said a couple of like kind of snarky things last night to my partner who I,
who I adore. But I was like, Oh, I was in a really bad mood today. And you know, it's so easy to go down the shame spiral, even for something like that. When we, I have all these tools and I still go down the shame spiral and it's like, I could have been better. And you know, all the ways we beat ourselves up and the truth is that we all deserve to have someone in the world,
know our highest self. And ideally, we become that person. But what we want to do is we want to allow the clutter to become the invitation. And if you can love yourself in chaos, you can love yourself and delight as well. But we want to start there. If you are lovable chaos at all, not without with, with nothing changing,
just you being who you are and the beauty of all of that and what it means. And it's that beautiful mix of being okay with who you are. And this is what I teach with. You know, my coaching is love who you are and you have to get really quiet and go within to be able to even see who that person is. Yeah.
Yeah. And it's, you know, in the the funny, and you know, this too, it's like, that's terrifying for people. They've spent the greater part of their adult and childhood probably avoiding that. Like, I'm going to drink it to death. I'm going to sex it to death. I'm, you know, it's like, I'm going to just hide it and shove it down where it's like having what I call the,
the ability to rock right. Between the two paradigms of like, okay, you can sit with your feelings, but can you sit with them while we're creating categories? And while you're creating categories, your brain is firing off dopamine because you're connecting things and your brain is like, Ooh, that's doing this. Yeah. Oh, we're doing such a great job.
So you're like, you're struggling with this feeling of like inadequacy while you're like making strong connections in your brain is like inadequacy. Oh, we're busy rocking it out right now. It's like, so it really is beautiful to kind of pair it. So it's not so heavy pressure because it is. I mean, I wish that I could say that it was just like,
Oh, simple emotional stuff. You could be laced in trauma. It could be laced in things that are really big and needs some major support in the journey. Oh, for sure. That is a part of getting really quiet and being able to go within or take the time to declutter and, and have the emotional attachments kind of brought out to the surface because we don't even realize we don't realize what's happening.
We don't realize that it's trauma stuck with the, that emotion or like with neuroscience. We don't realize that that thought and that emotion repeated over and over and over and over again, created that belief that put it on auto it's automated in your brain. And so it comes up fast and fierce, and we don't even realize that it's happening or that we're doing this.
So having that lighthouse and that beacon and having more and more people come out to shine their light and have people follow them. And just having the support that you provide is such a beautiful thing. And it's, that's the part where if anyone who's listening or watching and they don't feel like they have the, or they don't know where to get started or that they don't even want to like find out what's underneath all of that.
That's what you're there for. Right. And I it's so a couple over a year ago, I had this insight because I launched my first class and I was like, this is fantastic. And immediately was followed up with people need this every month. Like I had this instant knowledge that I was like, it's not enough to one off this, this needs to be a lifestyle.
And so I launched the chaos to come organizing membership and it has been so life-changing because for me, it's been when I'm there with you, you know, I'm not leaving without a change. Like that's my job. You're paying me to create change, right. Facilitate change. Or at least that's how it started in my career when I began. But now that everything is online,
you have to facilitate your change. But guess what? That's even better for your journey. Because if I'm there, you think that you have to crush on me and it's not as good when I'm not there. If you're working without me, with my guidance, who, you know, you're the one creating the changes, your self-esteem gets higher, you feel good,
you have accountability. And what's been beautiful is more so even than what I teach, because what we do is we cover the, like your entire home in a year. So every month we organize a different room and we talk about the symbolism of that room and the challenges that come up in that room. But more than that, you're sitting with a group of people who are going through the same challenges and there's so much opportunity for yes.
And, and me too, or I thought I was the only one. And between du and the group, we do group organizing sessions, which is phenomenal. Like you want to get something done, work in a group. It's, I mean, it's thank God for technology because people are able to create huge transformations. And it's, it really is beautiful that I feel like more than even the,
the wisdom I can show about organizing, having another person in the room with you saying me too, you're not alone. Makes the difference. It really does Well, because we all think that we're the only ones facing these problems. Totally. Totally. All of them, nobody else has been through them. Nobody understands where we're going or what are yeah.
Yes, exactly. And it's amazing when we pull back the layers, how much we're all dealing with the exact same stuff. Yeah. And even, and it's amazing because not even just with the same clutter, I don't have clutter, but I deal with my own issues around my body. Guess what I say? The same things to myself, about my body,
about my weight as I do, as someone else does about their clutter, or I might do it around certain patterns in other areas with my communication with family, or it's all the same thing. And, and I think that's the cool thing about doing it through organizing or whatever version you choose, right? As long as you choose a vehicle what's going to happen is the changes that you make,
either in the neuroscience that you do with people or in the organizing that I do with people, it affects every area of your life, that cascades, where it starts, it may start with clutter, but it ends up touching your relationships in your body and your spiritual practices and your like your money, all the things get a beautiful head of love. Yeah.
And that That's the mind body spirit. And for you space, that's, it's, it is so beautiful because we can really come together and lift each other up out of this feeling of overwhelm and lost and loneliness because we don't have to be alone and we can come together in these beautiful communities. And this has really been the theme of the last few conversations that I've had is lifting each other up.
I don't, I think I've said it like on repeat and I can't stress it enough because that's where the magic and the change starts to happen when we realize we're not alone. Yes. And the, the magic of like, it's not about escaping the alumnus or stopping the aloneness, like the truth is we are humans. We will feel alone constantly because there's a part of us that knows that we don't belong here.
We know we're not staying, or we know, we know there's something else going on. Like it's part of the human condition to feel loneliness. And just, just like, it's, it's part of the fact of chaos being a part of the world. The truth is that the sooner we stop trying to turn it off or avoid it or get it to never happen again,
the sooner we can get to work. And the true work is to live in harmony with it, to have those lonely moments come up and say, Hey, loneliness, you're here. May I hold you in my heart for a second? And just allow that, like, just to love on it, and then to sit with someone else and say,
I'm feeling lonely today and have someone that you think is having the best day of their life. Say me too, because we're human and we all do in one shape or another, right. Maybe not. When you're like kids, when your kids are hanging on you, you may not see seal scene. You may, people kind of suck to dry,
but it's not like your soul is being acknowledged in that moment. So even in a room full of people, you can feel alone. So I do, I think it's just as beautiful when we can resonate and just show up for each other and just say yummy too. Like you're not alone. And it makes perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, it's the beauty in expecially with 2020. Cause I know we've had a ton of stuff going on and we feel lonelier than ever before. And I know a lot of people are dealing with that, but to be able to find the silver linings of that and be able to have, I mean, a time now where we are able to your,
where are you at right now? I'm in Arizona, I'm in Tucson, Arizona, And I'm in Virginia. We would have never really had the time or the technology to come together and be able to connect the way that we're able to now. And I know it's not the same as in-person, but there's so much to be said with what's going on now and how we're able to reach out and,
and take control of our lives in such different, unique, beautiful ways. It shows A human's ability to be resilient. It shows the fact that it's like for anything I think of Abraham Hicks. And one of the things that she says is, you know, anyone has the ability to be your best friend or worst nightmare. Like that person that you hate is someone's love of their life.
And that does like, it's both as we're all capable of both. And so when we look at it that way, the truth is it's just a perspective shift. All it is is just looking, you know, I, I thought of that yesterday. I, I was doing some work in the office and, and I had this task pop into my head and I immediately felt anxious.
And I had the impulse to leave that what I was actively doing that I knew was my priority and switch over to this task that had just beaconed to me. And instead, I stopped and I took a breath and I said, the anxiety that I feel is my inner guidance system saying, that's not the one for you. And you know, I know that task is on a list.
I know it's going to get done if, and when it's the right time to get it done. But I was like, wow, that anxiety is not, is not trying to help. I mean, it is trying to help me. It's like, Ooh, do this. It's great. But the truth is I, my highest self, no one I need to be working on.
And so thank you so much anxiety for showing me that that's not the direction I want to walk down. I'm going to keep going down this path. And it was so powerful to own that. And to remember that, because I do think that we have the capability of that best friend or worst nightmare. Did I follow the anxiety down the rabbit hole?
No. I said, thank you for showing up and being here, I'm doing I'm going on this other track instead. And the anxiety went away and I didn't get stuck on it. And really, I think that we are capable, of all of that. Right. We can choose to take a situation like the 2020s and say, you know,
I see you. And there is a gift in here somewhere. There's, there's beautiful magic in here somewhere. And we are resilient and I will find a way through this Most definitely. And, those anxious moments that pop up are egos that pop up. It's all to keep us safe. And we need that ability. Yeah. Well, and it was like,
we, it helped us at one point, right? Like that, that thing that doesn't work for us anymore, Searchie saved our lives before. So it's like, we shouldn't be mad at it. It's like, who knows where we'd be if we didn't do that, but it's true. We don't, we're not going to let a toddler drive our fricking car.
Like, don't take kid like hitting the back. He was like, you could have been there for like so much a passenger. Yeah. And being able to have the ability to start seeing those things as like you said, acknowledging, thanking it for being there. Also realizing that it's not something that you have to go down. We don't have to immediately go into what our ego is trying to do to keep us safe.
We have the ability to choose. Right? Yeah. And it's, I think it's so sweet when we can look at those, those painful feelings as attempted helpers, right. They're just doing a drive by helping. Like, they're like, I'm here for you, but you know, it's just like not super helpful, but that's what they're trying to do.
They're trying to say like, Oh, I'm gonna save you. When, when you look at your clutter and you immediately talk bad to yourself, that voice in your head thinks that you been spoken bad to is going to motivate you to handle it. So it's like, it's the motivator. And it's choosing you up instead of to cheerlead you. If learned along the way that if it cheerleaded,
you, you would make better progress. It would be doing that. But it learned that if you beat someone up, it's like, Oh, then they're scared and they'll take the, you know, it's like, so you get to choose to say, yeah, that's an old tool. And I don't, I don't want that on my playground anymore.
So thank you for your service. Please go on vacation. I see, I have this beautiful meditation where I bring people into meeting their intuition, maybe their ego, their inner critic and their inner child. Beautiful. And yes, they're all there for a purpose. There's reasons. We need them. There's some reasons where it really did keep us safe,
but I have them walk through, connecting more with their intuition, asking their inner child to go off and play, but really to take the critic and the ego and ask them to, to set off to the sidelines until they're called upon. Right. And we really do have the ability to do that. It's learning that. And like you said, this whole,
we were taught to be scared and then take action. We're indoctrinated into all of this. It can be things that can be unlearned and we can bring in more positive reinforcements. It does take consistency. And it takes us really diving in deeper to be able to bring that up. Yeah, it's true. And you know, I think, I think there's space also to mention like the perfect and perfection of it all and the,
you know, there's not some lessons. I mean, I feel like, I mean, I teach this all the time. I coach this, I can see it. I, it's not, I might practice it really well, 80% of the time. And then 20% of the time I'm going to epically fail. Like I'm going to like fall on my face and say something snarky or handle it wrong,
or like get triggered, but not know I'm triggered and get defensive or, you know, it's like, whatever it is. And we have to be patient with ourselves in this practice because it is a lifelong practice. It's not about, Oh, I know this. Then I, then I can do it forever. It's not like that light switches on.
And it never goes off. It's like, you have to keep switching that puppy up, especially because I think the universe wants that healing from us. So it issues us partners who trigger us, children who trigger us events that, you know, it's like, you are resting on your laurels and your partners aren't drinking. They might not be your right partner.
You know, it's like people in our lives are the greatest invitations to expand and heal. And it's because we are having to meet other versions of ourselves. Like I've been single a lot of my adult life out of choice. And you know, it is the easiest life, you know, but when I've had to co-parent and when I've had to, when I've chosen to be a partner,
I mean, the, it is The, it is not the easy life. And you, you really have to make peace with the imperfection of life and stop and say to your kids. Well, I really just lost my temper. I'm so sorry. I need a timeout because I'm not handling this well, like just give me a second and how much they learn from perfect and perfection being modeled,
patience, you know, it's just, it's so much healthier than, than beating ourselves up and holding the strict line of perfection A hundred percent. And I know I'm maybe you get this too. But with me being a practitioner of meditation, really being able to be in my intuition and step into my higher self people think that that's just how I live every day.
And then I don't have stressors and then I don't lose my temper and that I, I don't feel that fear. And that's no, I feel all of that. I do things in spite of feeling that way. And I do it because I know that it's okay to feel that. And I, I accept it and I do really try to open up space in my heart to feel that.
And it's okay for me to fail. I mean, talk about family triggers. Like my husband and I have been together since we were in high school, we've been together literally 23, 24 years. Wow. Talk about triggers. I mean, I love him to death. My teenagers love them to death. Do they trigger me like nobody's business? And I love them more than anything.
I'm like, why are you triggering me? But it's because that's, that's what we're, that's just what they're for. They're for. And it's to help us learn and to grow on a daily basis. God, you know, it's like, I think of my partner. I love him to pieces because you know, he's not afraid to say to me,
like, cause I'll get triggered. The challenge with this human experience is it's a bit like climbing Everest, right? You're going to run out of oxygen at some point. And then you're trying to make decisions from this state where you're fatigued and exhausted, overwhelmed. You have no air available to you. And you're like, you know,
it's like, I think about like, there was a conversation, my partner and I were having, and he was just, and I was, I felt attacked. And I felt like I needed to defend myself because I feel justifiable. It's not like I was like, I'm going to be an asshole today. It was like, like, like I was like,
all my, my walls went up and I was like, we are under attack defend. It's like, and it feels so real. And he's doing the same. And at one point I really got snarky and he's like, how can you be talking like this? When you teach people to communicate every day? And I was like, damn it. I was like,
so he called the timeout and I went and I cried and I stared at the wall for a minute. And I just like took a second. And I was like, what is happening? And I'm so grateful to have a partner who can call me out on it, that I have someone that's not going to punish me for when I come back and say,
I'm so sorry, babe. I was really triggered. This is what I was feeling. This is why I was feeling it. I'm really sorry for the ways I disrespected you and me and us. And whenever you're ready to talk, I'm ready. Like it was, you know, it's like, and we shift like that so fast. It's like
like I was like, but I do think it's like, that is the beauty of our partnerships and our, and our connections can be a partnership with our physical stuff. This thing makes me happy. I feel great. This thing makes me feel horrible. I have the opportunity to work on it. So it's, you know, it really is beautiful to see what's possible.
But, but like you said, we make that decision. We decide if we're going to choose this route of evolution or if we're going to hold tight to our ego and you know, and even if we, even if we do for 20 minutes, then can we relax our grip and say, I'm open to something else. Like you might be right.
Let me think about this more. I, I got a little stuck, like, okay, what else is there? Yeah. Cause it's not like we're not going to be faced with those things. It's going to be the, having these tools. And the more we practice honestly, is the faster we get out of those higher anxiety States. It doesn't mean we don't get there.
It just means that we're able to come back down a little bit quicker and we're able to like notice our state a little bit faster each and every time. And it's okay. And I know what you mean about the husbands or, you know, family, because my kids will call me out on it too. Like, aren't you like supposed to be this whole meditating,
you know, you know, awesome person. And here you are like loading the gasket because That again, yeah, I know something happened, but it just goes to show how easy it is to be hijacked. We can have all the, and the degree of grace we have to have with ourselves and others. Right. That it's like, we are all just doing the best we can.
And sometimes it's easy to make those choices. But when it's personal, like when I felt defensive, I really did feel like I was under attack. And my best course of action was to fight back. Not the, and of course he's thinking the same thing, but the, the truth is that it's, the solution is always living right alongside the challenge.
There, there in tandem. It's that best friend worst nightmare thing, right. Where it's like, they're right. It's a matter of what we start looking for. And what we look for is really what we find. It's that old story from, you know, elementary school where it's like, if you're looking at a tree, hit the tree and it's true because it's,
are you looking for opportunities and possibilities or you looking for more walls and whatever you're looking for, you're going to find that, you know, and I come in, I just want to say, Jacquelyn. It's like, I really commend you and your, your partner for being together. As long as you have, and for forging a relationship where you have love at the foundation.
And you have kids that have learned that they can speak their truth and, and hold you accountable to your highest self, which is what, maybe we all have that from our family. Right. I have goosebumps knowing that it's like, what more can we ask for than that? And, you know, it's like, I think of all the beautiful,
wonderful partners I've had. And I left, those lessons in the past. I don't have to go back to my partner from when I was 21 or 27 or 33 and live with the damage that we created at that time. I got to learn my lesson and walk on. And for those of you, those, those people who have chosen life partnership at a young age,
who that was given to them, or it was created how beautiful, how beautiful that you can walk through that fire and still come home to each other, like, so really congratulations to you and your husband. Cause I know that's not right. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, no, it has not been easy. It's been a very long road,
but I find myself incredibly grateful for the relationship we have curated. Is it perfect? Oh no. By a long stretch of days, weeks, months. Of course, we do, but we're able to really push forward. And I guess there are that deeper love and respect for one another. And it's not something I take lightly because I know that it's not something that happens a lot.
So I'm very blessed to have him as a partner in my life and, and able to teach the kids this beautiful relationship of loving each other, but not always understanding and growing. And, you know, we literally had to grow up together, which I think was the hardest part because you're trying to find yourself and then you're trying to find each other and together,
and then with the family and what did all these things mean? It really, I mean, honestly, it's like it, you know, it's, it just brings it right back to the clutter. For me, it's like, it's the same thing. Our relationships with each other is similar to our relationships with our stuff. There's so many layers and stories and expectations and desires and needs,
and they become this big, old muddy pot of stuff that we're trying to suss out a grain of sand from. And so having that, that peacefulness about, you know, like I'm going to have grace with myself today. And also it's like the thing that always blows my mind. Cause I was, I thought I'd be married at 19 with 10 kids.
Like I never saw myself like in my forties still single, no kids like great partnerships. Like I feel like I've had, like, I could write a book on the beautiful loves I've experienced, but that was not the life. And it's not because I didn't fully commit. It's just that, that wasn't my life path. And so it's so interesting how every time I find a partner,
I'm always like, Oh, this is not anymore. I get the lesson now, but before I'd be like, this is the one. And then guess who I was really in a relationship with me. I was in a relationship with me because once they came, that turned off that cycle of if only I had the partner, everything would be great, right. If only,
and they'd come and I'd be like, Oh, I have an issue with myself. Like I have to work on that. Cause the truth is when I'm handled in myself, I don't have those snarky moments. I don't have those, those challenging fire, you know, vessels coming bursting out of me towards other people. So when I'm having that, it's like,
Oh, I've just had to meet a deeper level of myself in this relationship. And that's the that's the interesting part is it has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with us in those relationships, us in a relationship with ourselves, having integrity with ourselves and other people in our lives, and carving out the life that we want. And it's,
you know, it is, it's very, it's a lot to hold. Sometimes it's a lot to try to make sense of it's like it is it's that single grain of sand and a giant muddy pot where you're like, is it, is it possible to get it? I don't know. Maybe it takes multiple lifetimes to get there. Maybe, maybe we are on other planes.
I don't know. I don't know enough of the secrets of the universe to fully understand it. It's complicated. It can be. And, and having the grace and staying in integrity with who you are, is so important. This is what has allowed me to be the person that I am today is getting really, really quiet with who is in here,
not trying to be the best wife or the best mother or the best friend or the best business owner, literally being who I want to be and what my higher calling is. And knowing that the things around it will fall into place when I align with who I want to be. Yes. Yeah. I think That's where the magic was for me personally.
No, I feel the same. I had, it was such a beautiful, we had a class last night and we were talking about the clothing closet and that's like your image space of like how you, how you want the world to see you. And I asked, you know, kind of a loaded question. I asked, how do you want to see yourself?
And then how do you want the rest of the world to see you? And I was so proud that most of the class was like, wow, I never realized I want the world to see me how I see me. Like, you know, it's, I think when we're younger, it's like this Pinterest idea of I've got to be the perfect home or the best cook or the best hostess.
And I do think that the paradigm of this world is breaking down a little bit. You know, we're not as interested in influencers who, you know, are sitting there smiling in a bikini. We can see that all day long. Like tell me about the person who overcame adversity to get there or the person who is having a real moment of development or,
and that's way more interesting than some fake glossy shine that we see for a moment. And yeah, I just, it's such a beautiful awareness to see that it's like, there's so much space for the humanity now. And I'm so glad we were born today and not a hundred years ago when there were so many more constructs to live around. Oh my goodness.
Yes. And contracts are breaking down and dissolving every day. I know that we have a long way to go, but we are in this beautiful evolution of it where we get to be a part of what we want to see and we can choose to, you know, cause I had that whole idea of, I wanted a white picket fence, not literally,
but like that American dream and all of that came crashing down around me, literally my husband and I had this whole plan and life was like, this is not what you're supposed to be doing. So it all came crashing down around me and I got to choose what I wanted that next path to be and how I looked at where, how I want people to see me and what I truly wanted and what I truly want it.
Wasn't what everybody else wanted. Right. And it was okay. And how beautiful for you. Cause it's when we heal, we're not just healing for ourselves. We're healing for our lineage before and after when you heal your kids, get that healing to your parents, get that healing like it's so magical. Your dog gets that here. It was like the planning home gets,
you know, it's like you think about when you sell your home and embedded in the walls or the experiences of your life and you are infusing this home with, with love that gets to live on and whoever takes it after you. And you know, it's, it really is. If you want to make one of the biggest impacts in the world, start internally,
you know, start inside and find that healing. Cause then you start to just pour over to everything else and everyone else. And we do, we've got a lot of work in this society to bridge the gap, to, to find a place that is equitable and loving. And that shows up for everybody. You know? So we, we have,
we have to show up at our best selves to be able to do the work that's at hand. And we can't do that from an empty tank. We can't do that. Not taking care of ourselves. We have to show up and say like, I'm going to fill myself up so I can overflow into you, my friend. Yes. And getting started with your space around you is one you have to start within.
I know that the space around you though can dictate how you're feeling as well. I had an experience where I was very unhappy where we were living actually in this home and it's a newer home. It's just, we're constrained and we want to move, but it's not quite the right timing. And I kept thinking like, I hate this place.
Like I'm uncomfortable. I want this. Like I want to move. And the movie and kept getting further and further away from me until I realized that if I could love where we are now and I can open my heart and, and change the environment around me to make me feel grateful for what we have, that the other thing that I want will come so much quicker Every time,
every time, Every single time. Yeah. And you're home when you're in a home that makes you feel good and is decluttered and you have a sense of why it's decluttered and that you can continue to do that. It's so important. So, I love what you do. I want you to come to my house. It's so powerful. And we take our power back in this way.
You know, as I say, at the, at the most basic, what I do is help people come home to themselves. And, and sometimes it's easier from the inside out. And sometimes it's easier from the outside in and our homes give us that opportunity. And no, you know, we go through moments, you might need five different versions of that in an hour.
And who cares? Like just claim what you need to do to build the life you want because you deserve it. Yes. Yes, we do. Yes. We all deserve it. We all deserve to be happy, whatever that happiness looks like to us. Absolutely Beautiful. Yeah, I totally do. So I have to ask you what is extra paperwork?
I always have paper everywhere and I hate paper. I love going digital. I just, it tends to pile up. What does that mean? I know, right? Totally. We'll do like 30 seconds, you know, it's, it can be financial abundance, you know, or lack. It can be like your purpose, your career purpose. Like for some people they have paper all over because they're overflowing with ideas and there's a part of them that are,
that's connected to a paper being abundance in creativity. And so looking at like, okay, well, what are the papers made up of? Are they all bills that are overdue that keep going? Or are they all, you know, like creative ideas that you don't want to miss and noticing what those are, because if it's, or is it just like piles of stuff that you don't know what to do with?
And the differences are, it's like, well, if it's stuff you don't know what to do with maybe a task management system will help you dial in and a routine. Maybe it is a structural thing that needs some support. If it's, you know, beautiful purpose ideas, how do you digitize that? I use one note for all of my ideas.
Like I've got like 10 books in my head and 50 speeches and 20 courses. And it's like, I don't ever, like, I'm capturing every quote that I like that I want to use. And so I'm, I can't write that down and I certainly don't want it stuck at home if I'm traveling somewhere to give a speech and I don't have access to what I want.
So I put everything in one note, it's all set up. It's like those old college rules, notebook styles. So basically it's notebooks with sections and pages. And so I go in there and it's, I have one just devoted to all my books and playing out with all my ideas. So if I get an idea for a book, I throw it in there.
I don't need to think about it again until I'm working on my books. And if I hear a quote that I love, I have a section for just collectibles where I collect stats and quotes and all of that. So it really does help us from having to like, keep all this stuff to stop us from forgetting. It's like, no, it's there when I need it,
but I don't need it until I need it. And then I'll search for it. So yeah, it's kind of just starting to, to be again, curious, not judgemental of like, what is this clutter? Where is this clutter like specifically on my desk? What should, what should be there instead? What is, what is the content of the paper?
Because that's going to just start telling you the story, of what you're being invited to extend, expand into. Yes. Well, I have a little bit of all the papers. I really do love all digital. You get rid of the papers and a lot of the paperwork that piles up for me and me just being real is male. That I'm just like,
I don't even know what to do with it, or want to do anything with it. Cause I don't need it. All my bills are pretty much-paid auto. So unless something sneaks through, it's more just, I wish people would stop sending junk mail. I know. On paper, did you ever get into paper karma? No. To change your life,
check out there's karma and you basically just log in and you sign up. And then I think I forgot how much it is a year, but you basically just take a picture of the front of the envelope where like it has the barcode and stuff and they unsubscribe you from Google mailings. You did just change my life. Yes, totally. I get so much and I really,
I don't want these things cause I'm all about sustainability and the environment and everything. So then I'm like, Oh, what do I, you know? And then you can recycle and not recycle. So then I ended up stuffing it in a drawer. Well, I live in the big, remember like in like the nineties when everyone's like reduce, reuse,
refuse, I'm a big refuser, like try to hand me something I don't want. You will, you will see me no real fast. I like, it makes me crazy when I go to the grocery store and if I didn't bring my bags and they put like a bag of carrots in a bag by itself and I'm like, Oh, it's your goal to pollute our planet with plastic in,
by 20, according to like, I don't understand, you know, it's like very hard for me to deal with, but it is the same run like it actually. And my guess is that if there's a part of you that wants to save the world. And it's hard to let go of that stuff because you want it to go to the right place.
So I'm just going to keep it until I solve it. Now it's a much bigger project versus taking maybe 30 minutes to research. Okay, now I have this app that wants subscribe. I know that that's my system. And then I'm going to quickly do a 10 minute search on my local recycling, you know, like what is actually recyclable and then print that out.
So I never forget about it set up my mail station, have that right there. So the whole family knows it. And my system is like this and you take maybe a little bit longer one day and then you are up to never have the system again. Cause it's funny, like I'm paperless too. When mail comes in, it literally doesn't hit my desk unless it's a task like I'm looking around right now.
Like what paper I did get a thank you card yesterday. Look at this, the little thank you. But I was like, cause I'm still thinking about like, are you a memorabilia or are you a display still? I just need a second to, you know, it's like, yeah. You know, like I want so little of that because everything else is automated and everything else is running without me having to manage it.
Cause I've got other things I want to manage. Beautiful. No, that helped a lot. Thank you. Because I think that's where I get caught up is not, you know, and I will do sometimes like the little post-its where I like to put it out on a board, see it, but then I put it digital too and just get,
you know, recycle the paper. So it's a little bit of both. I think that this was so beautiful and I really could just go on and on and talk. I didn't even realize the time I was paying. So close attention to you today, Jacquelyn, this is wonderful. Yes. And thank you. So tell us where we can find you where we can get all your goodies.
I will have them linked, but please tell us Absolutely. So you can get everything it's star hanson.com. So that's the first, the portal is star hanson.com and you can get everything there, but I also wanted to share with your listeners a free gift. And one of the things that I've noticed is most people have a really hard time getting started. Like,
Oh, I just like, I don't, you know, like all the kind of blocks that come up. So what I found really helps is small wins and I have a freebie for your listeners. That's 10 things you can organize in 20 minutes or less. And it's a very quick checklist that they can go through and see, okay, how do I get into action?
Because sometimes to get started, we need to feel like we have a win after years of feeling like we failed. And so that's big, but then I want to add a little extra bonus for your people, which is if they do five of those in the next seven days, they're going to win a free session with me. If they share the before and afters and submit them to me.
So 10 things you can organize in 20 minutes or less. If they do five of the 10 in the next seven days, they get a free session with me and they can get [email protected] forward slash checklist. Beautiful. Thank you. That's so generous. And anyone watching, like the second this hits I'll do it. I will do it too. I promise.
Yeah, it's really. Yeah. And it's such a great way to get started. So I love what you're doing. I love the beautiful synergy that you have created. I can't wait to continue to follow you and keep up with all of the beautiful things that you're doing. Thank you So much, Jacquelyn. It's been such a pleasure to be here with you.
Thank you for including me in this wonderful thing that you've created. I'm so honored and grateful and thank you to all the listeners who, who stuck it out and listened to our week. I could have gone all day with you. It's so it's so easy to talk to you. So yeah. Thank you for listening and watching and for being here too.
Thank everyone for watching live or not live when it came out. Sorry. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being here and make sure you reach out to us. Let us know what you took away. What are your takeaways from this episode and what resonated with you? It's really important. Cause we're, we're real people we want to hear from you and we want to hear what helped you and what things you might be doing to take these things into action for you.
So thank you for coming. Make sure you tune in next time and we will see you next week. Thank you so much for listening today. Please make sure that you go over to the blog and follow all the links for our guests and get the downloads that we talked about. I would also really love and appreciate if you would share this podcast with your friends and family.
And if you wouldn't mind taking just a minute to leave a review, that would mean the world to me. Thank you again so much from the bottom of my heart for listening and staying tuned.
Can't wait to see you next week on the shelf.